This year, I’ll be introducing both my first young adult novel and my first book of poetry to the world. That’s huge! But it didn’t happen overnight. It happened over … a lot of nights. Years and years of nights. I could start all the way at the beginning with the books I “published” in first grade (they were super cute, like “The Time I Made Friends with a Dog”), but really this story begins in college, when I got serious about writing with the eventual goal of publication.
A few years after graduation, I went back to school for an MFA in creative writing, focusing in poetry. I published poems in journals and in 2013, I had two poetry chapbooks published by small presses. From there, I thought moving to the next stage of my writing career would be easy. I had journal publications. I had chapbooks. I was on a path. [Insert sound of wild, maniacal laughter here.]
The thing is, I wasn’t wrong. I was serious about my writing, I was learning about the world of publishing. I was on a path. I just didn’t realize there would be a five-year gap between the publication of my chapbooks and the publication of my first novel and full-length book of poetry. Or that I would even write a novel. Or that it would be YA. There was so much I didn’t know. *waves to Baby Kit in 2013*
On the one hand, it took much longer for me to get here than I ever thought it would. Five years isn’t long in the grand scheme of things. But add to that the time I spent in graduate school and college and the years I spent figuring out how to balance writing with a full-time job in between, and we’re looking at almost two decades since I first “got serious” about becoming a published writer. It’s easy to look back and feel frustrated. Why didn’t I get here faster? Well, it’s because writing is hard, and getting published is hard, and they both take time.
Okay. Now I feel a little better.
I feel a lot better when I consider what might have actually happened if my path to publication had been faster. For one thing, I might never have pushed myself to write outside of my comfort zone and explore genres beyond poetry. I love poetry, and I’m so thrilled to share A Small Rising Up in the Lungs with you this year—a book that has been six years in the making—but what if that collection had been accepted for publication right away? What if I hadn’t spent those years writing and revising and submitting and revising and submitting and wondering if maybe its publication wasn’t meant to be? Would I have ever challenged myself to write a novel? Would See All the Stars even exist? Or my second YA, coming in 2019? Or …?
For many writers—even those for whom it seems like success has been lightning-fast—it takes a very long time to get to this point: the debut year. There are many different variations on this theme: the writer whose first three (five, eight) books didn’t sell before debuting (seemingly overnight!) to “instant acclaim” with book number whatever. The writer who queries manuscript after manuscript before signing with a top agent and selling fast. The writer who toils for years in obscurity before becoming a household name. I could go on. The thing is, these stories have become the stuff of legend and cliché, but there’s a reason for that. Allow me to repeat myself: Writing is hard, and getting published is hard, and they both take time.
I’ve spent plenty of time feeling frustrated about this—mostly frustrated with myself. Why did I take so long to get here? Could I have been more serious about my writing? Could I have sacrificed more, pushed myself harder, been better faster? Maybe, maybe not. But the truth is: If that had happened, I would be a different writer, and I wouldn’t be debuting with these books. Who knows how that might have worked out for me. In the end, I feel lucky: Things didn’t always move as fast as I wanted them to, but I’m entering my debut year with two books I’m enormously proud of, and I’m so excited to share them with you.
See All the Stars (S&S/Margaret K. McElderry Books) hits shelves on August 14, 2018. A Small Rising Up in the Lungs will follow in the fall from New American Press. I’ll be sharing more details on my poetry collection as they become available (cover! pre-orders!), and you can pre-order See All the Stars now from a variety of retailers.